Matilda's nights back!
After living the hell of nights for almost 10 months of choppy nights or nonexistent at times, we relive, finally. What did we do to help Matilda sleep? Following your many requests, I tell you.
6 months of Matilda and still no nights …
Last June, Matilda was 6 months old. She started to sleep better. And then the heat wave came to interfere as well as a rather rough family event. From there it was the descent into hell. The summer holidays had a minimum of 3 wake-ups per night. And we ended at 8 or 10 waking up in the autumn.
Reflux or not reflux?
Matilda was treated for reflux because it regurgitated a lot, I even thought about intolerance to cow's milk … But after 1 month and a half of Omeprazole and yogurt of sheep, I who took more milk from cow, all without any effect, I began to doubt.
Seeking solutions to sleep again
I slipped the book Sleeping without tears kindly offered by Laura. The book says that basically it is normal not to make his nights before 3 years and offers co-sleeping and breastfeeding as a solution to wake up at night to spare everyone. For the author, letting a child cry is tantamount to terrorizing him and the stories of 5-10-15 or 2 min 3 min 4 min are just "training to sleep".
It helped me to be more tolerant and patient with the awakenings and to recover a little bit. But I'm not going to lie to you I was exhausted and this maternal solution did not suit me.
Surprisingly, Matilda was always charming during the day, ate well, and went to bed with great serenity, falling asleep alone in bed after the little bedtime ritual.
After a great night of shit again, where I almost completely shake my kid and where my eldest suggested I go through the window: I took things hard.
I was suggested the rendezvous with Aude Becquart but already it's expensive and then I had this suspicion of a physical problem. How can a baby so calm cry so much at night without having a health concern?
Consultation with a pediatrician specialized in sleep disorders
After looking a little and watching a replay of The House of the Kindergarten on sleep with, as guest, a pediatrician specializing in sleep disorders, I took appointment with the said pediatrician (the advantage of living in Paris, it is necessary sometimes).
In a preliminary email to prepare the consultation I told him my life and my nights without sleep. And 10 days later I was in his office with Matilda.
Right now she drew a line on physical concern. Matilda had no problem, otherwise she would not be so charming during the day.
Then let's say that I did not really appreciate everything, you know that everything is always the fault of the mother is not it? But we are not going to lie, she still gave me good advice.
The advice of the pediatrician:
– the breast at night: finished. She is big enough not to eat at night and to go back to sleep without a mother's hug.
– Mom stop getting up! She says good night and see you tomorrow morning and now it's daddy sticking to it. That's good, no? And when it's the doctor who says it …
– secrets, problems, doubts, anxiety … Everything is said to the baby (promised he will repeat nothing!) And we tell him that everything is fine and that all this does not affect him so he does not have to worry.
– we sleep and we go back to bed in the same good conditions. Same place, same place, same ritual. And we stick to it. And if the big sister wakes up, she comes to Daddy's room if necessary.
– the ritual of bedtime obviously, history, turbulet, soft music, sweet words, in the same order and always the same.
– the importance of the blanket to keep baby company
– do not run right away when she cries (what was done to avoid waking Mona) but leave the chance that she can go back to sleep alone. Everything depends on cries of course.
– and highlight of the show: we thoroughly coach thoroughly. "You're a big girl, I know you're able to go back to sleep like a big girl with your blanket, without the help of mom and dad. If you wake up tonight, you take a blanket, pacifier and go back to sleep like a big one.
To repeat again and again and again including the night.
– to finish going to see her less and less
The pediatrician concluded: in 3 days it will be settled, 1st night more difficult, 2nd a little better and 3rd night at the top you will see.
I was a bit skeptical and did not want to let Matilda scream.
Put it into practice, towards new nights …
We took advantage of school holidays All Saints and the absence of Mona to put all this into practice. We coached her thoroughly! Pacifier attached to the blanket and bottle of water in the bed here we go. At each awakening his dad went there, waiting for a little bit, restating the same things.
The next day we realized that the tears were not the same: less strong and less panicked. An alarm clock on 2 she went back to sleep alone after 2 min.
3rd night: 2 awakenings and no need to intervene.
And then she stopped waking up. We did not feel like letting her cry. On the other hand, we coached her so much that she went to sleep alone and it worked.
And we slept after 10 months without sleep!
And now, what are the nights like?
After 3 months I will not tell you that it's all the time perfect, it would lie to you. But it's normal it's a baby.
Matilda sleeps very badly when she is not home, in bed. Nice last Christmas holidays …
We had a small nocturnal terrors of 00:30 too, I love it! The smaller the diseases, the cough, the teeth, that's okay. But nothing to do with what we experienced.
Homeopathic syrup Quietude helped us to improve the quality of alarm clocks (basically turning screams into simple crying).
The pediatrician I saw is Sarah Bursaux, she is in the 15th. I spent 45 minutes with her. In this article she gives advice on sleeping babies. It gives you an idea of his vision of things.
I had another article with lots of mom's advice for sleeping babies, if that could help you.
I do not know if this article will help some of you, who I know are desperate! Each case is unique unfortunately. The good news is that nothing is irremediable and that one day you will sleep again. We started from a very long way and yet the situation really improved in a few days.
If you have advice, contacts, tips, testimonials, do not hesitate to share them in comment!
Full of courage to all the parents who do not sleep yet, and full of encouragement to your little ones who I hope will soon make their nights.